Stories

Three months ago, I had an anxiety and depression episode. It was so bad that I couldn’t bring myself to work. I also did an irrational thing—I quit a job that was paying me well. I didn’t have any plans in mind nor did I have much savings. And in reality, I couldn’t afford not having a job. On top of that, I’m the sole breadwinner of a family of 3 growing, private-schooled boys. To my surprise, my company was empathetic and offered me three months of paid leave so that I could ‘rest’. I didn’t believe it! But yesterday, the third paycheck was in my account. It has already been three months, but this isn’t the end of my testimony.

The three months was a rollercoaster ride. There was a lot of internal battling. I had to admit that my mental health condition is real—I had to acknowledge it, face it, and understand it. God revealed a lot of me to me—who I am and what it means to follow God. I saw the shallowness of my faith, how surface was my trust, and the doubt that I had. At times, when I felt like I couldn't handle the truth, I stayed away from talking to God. But my circumstances and hopelessness eventually brought me to my knees—each time, allowing me to reflect on why I didn’t run to God. And each time, I am reminded that He is in this with me.

During those months, I was also humbled as a parent. I had no excuse for not having the time to attend a parenting course—something I never believed in—that gave me hope in restoring my relationship with my children. I began to see what kind of a mother I was and what my children had gone through. This change of perspective gave me hope in repairing and growing my relationship with my children.